Twins: How to Survive the First Year

“Do you want to hear some really exciting news?” the ultrasound tech said as she waved the wand on my belly from side to side. Before she even said the words, I could see. Twins. I had been pregnant before, my husband and I are also blessed with a beautiful and bright six year old daughter, so as I stared intently at the screen I knew what to look for.  First, I saw the white line down the center of my belly that had not been there the first time around. Then the two clear sacs, each with a little jumping “jelly bean” inside and I just knew. Still, when she said the words aloud it was a surreal moment. We had no idea we would be having twins. And through the happy tears, and my laughter at the moment just being so amazing, I knew our life was changing forever. And boy, has it.

So how does one “survive” the first year of twins? Well, beyond the excessive amounts of coffee you’ll consume, here are a few tips I’ve picked up from my last fourteen months of being a twin + 1 mama:

Get Help If You Can

The single best piece of advice I could offer an expecting twin mom is to line up any help you can. When you first come home from the hospital, you will really need the extra hands. Whether you deliver naturally or via csection, your body will be recovering and you’ll have not one but two babies who will need you constantly. If you are able to line up family to come sit with you, or even hire help, it’s not being indulgent, it’s being resourceful. I can’t thank my family members enough who came and spent those early days with me holding my babies. The time they spent with us, and the meals they brought, were truly invaluable. 

Two Words: Amazon Prime

Getting out of the house will feel like it’s nearly impossible for the first few weeks (months! year!) and ordering everything you can online will be a life saver. Amazon Prime will become your very best friend. Diapers, formula, if you are using it, and pretty much every other little thing you could need can easily be added to your cart and arrive at your doorstep in two days time without you ever leaving the house. Sign up for the reoccurring diaper deliveries, and you’ll need way more than you think, and don’t forget the wipes. If your town has a grocery delivery, I suggest signing up for that too. Due to the very long hours my husband works, and having to also tend to my six year old’s activities, Shipt was pretty much the only way my family got groceries for the first year. I still use it here and there, when I need a few things and don’t want to drag everyone to the store. 

Get the Baby Gear x 2

Having twins doesn’t really lend itself to a minimalist lifestyle. At least not at first. Having two of each of your major baby items is really helpful: two Rock n Plays, two Pack n Plays, two cribs, a baby wrap and an Ergo, you get the idea. I spent a large majority of the early months sitting in my bed, tandem nursing my babies, on a twin nursing pillow (another must have if you plan to nurse!) but I also had to put them down and tend to the house and the rest of the family. Having various places for them to safely rest was important and I don’t regret the all baby gadgets that helped me to do so. 

Give Yourself Grace

Your body just nourished, carried and delivered two beautiful new lives! You have done a job that is so beyond amazing; I am still in awe of all our bodies can do. Don’t let the “noise” of the outside world make you feel bad when your laundry isn’t done or your floors aren’t spotless. Very few people understand the true demands of having multiples. At times, others may tell you they had two “13 months apart and it was JUST like twins! ” and somehow it seems they managed to do it all. Don’t let this get you down. Being a mom of multiples is unique in it’s challenges and unique in it’s blessings. You have two sweet babies who love you no matter what your house looks like that day. You’ll find your groove, I’m still finding mine, and it will get easier in so many ways as the months pass. Allow yourself to relish in the simple pleasures of those quiet moments and never feel bad when you need a moment to yourself to take that shower and regain your balance. Before you know it, a year will have passed and you’ll wonder just how you did it and you’ll marvel at how far you’ve come as you gear up for the next wild phase: twin toddlers!