Most of my life I would have considered myself to be an extrovert but once I had kids things changed. I was living in a new state where didn’t know many people and I became more introverted. In a college atmosphere it was so easy to meet people but for some reason when I graduated and moved away I found it really difficult to make new friends.
I finally got connected with an awesome group of people but it stopped there. I was content with the friendships that I made and wasn’t very eager to meet new people like I once was in college.
When I became a new mom I had a small tribe of mommy friends that I would meet up with once a week and that was good enough for me. One of the things that made me really nervous was introducing myself to other moms at the playground.
Part of the reason I became more introverted was that as a new mom I really didn’t have the confidence I once had prebaby. With my changing body due to pregnancy, my changing hygiene due to lack of showers and lack of sleep made me feel and look like a hot mess. Even if I did get to take a shower I only stayed clean for about 5 minutes before I was covered in some kind of liquid, whether that be milk, snot or poop. I distinctively remember this one occasion where I actually looked presentable to go out and our friends’ daughter looked at me in shock and awe saying “Megan you brushed your hair!” You know it’s bad when a 5 year old notices that you finally brushed your hair.
I kind of equate making new mom friends to dating. I thought I was finished with the dating scene once I got married but now it feels like I’m dating all over again trying to get these new moms to like me and my kids. When you’re dating you’re trying to appear to be your best and frankly it’s really hard to do that as a mom. You’re trying to attract new mommies, you’re embarrassed when your kid has a meltdown and you’re attempting to not look crazy or show any weaknesses.
It can be intimidating to put yourself out there and make new friends. But can I let you in on a little secret?? Most other moms are just as nervous as you and they are just hoping that you will reach out and introduce yourself.
Once I get over that initial introduction, I am good to go and I really enjoy the conversations. But let’s be honest, sometimes those ice breaker conversations can be awkward. Often times I feel like it goes a little something like this “Oh hey you made a little human the same age as mine, let’s hang out!” That’s about all I have to go on.
But the past 2 weeks my husband gave me a challenge to go out and meet one new person every day. My heart would be racing every time I was out because I knew that I needed to walk away from the experience with a new friend.
It pushed me out of my comfort zone and in the end helped me to become a more confident person and I have more mom friends too which is awesome!!
It’s so important to surround yourself with other people walking the same path of motherhood as you. God never intended us to do life alone and community is key to thriving and surviving this crazy thing called life.
So next time you’re out on the playground and you see another mom standing there alone, just go up and introduce yourself!
