We’ve all heard of the terrible twos, and though tantrums are a normal part of development for one to five years old. We all hope for our child it is later than one and over well before five, but then there is my Charlotte who at 16 months old is making my years of teaching a classroom of 15 preschool students seem like a cakewalk. To help her learn and grow through these challenging times I use what some refer to as a “Peace Corner.”
Yes, I know what it sounds like, which is a reward a place I’d like to go too, but I do believe time alone to calm down should never be viewed negatively. I run a tight ship coming from a military family and I am big on manners and respect so although the name “Peace Corner” sounds like a reward, it has big lessons when applied with a simple design.
Here a few guidelines and ideas to create your own “Peace Corner” and how to use it:
- Find an isolated area away from everything
- Place a bean bag or some floor pillows. This style of seating allows them to lay, sit, or kick like the world’s ending without harming themselves or cuddle up if they are sad.
- Place a basket with 2-3 books. Have them be about good behavior or one that is a point of interest for your child. These can allow them to reflect and calm down or redirect their emotions.
- I also add a few small objects like a stuffed animal, kaleidoscope, stress ball, or rain stick because these are great self-soothing sensory objects.
- There is no set time while being sent to the “Peace Corner!” Unlike a typical time out there is no set time to be sorry. As an adult, you have most likely received an empty and forced “I’m sorry.” Sometimes these empty gestures are worse than the original actions. By setting no time limit we are allowing a child to be fully ready and willing to reenter. I usually use the phrase “when you are ready to come back, you can.” I allow the child to choose when they are capable and willing to reenter and correct whatever it was they did wrong, whether that is clean up their blocks or offer a meaningful apology. If the child chooses to leave the Peace Corner and are not willing to resolve their issue then I simply tell them “I see you’re not ready yet, please go back to the Peace Corner until you are.
As an adult, we all have some form of a Peace Corner. For some of us it is a long drive, listening to music, a good run or workout, or just being left alone. I know personally that with some things I’m over it in 2 minutes and others may take a few hours, but we all find ways to self-regulate and choose the time we are ready to reenter. I believe children can do the same, and for a young child, creating a Peace Corner gives them a way to start developing. Hopefully, the years of tantrums and challenges become a learning tool for a more mindful and balanced child.
