Last year I wrote about how it is really not as tough as it might seem at first to travel with toddlers.  This year I found myself traveling from Palm Beach County, FL to Bergen County, NJ  four months pregnant, with two under 3, alone.  Who was I to drive 1200 miles without my husband? Where would I stop? Why did I do that? How could I do that? How could he let me? Well let’s answer those first, and I’ll give you some tips of things I figured out on the way!

Because if I can do it, you, Mama, can do this too. 

Who do you think you are? 

Believe it or not, I travelled extensively before kids. I’ve been all over the USA, and to ten other countries besides.  What I’ve learned in my plane, train, car and boat rides is that confidence covers a multitude of fears.  The key to traveling alone as a woman, in my humble opinion, is to

A) Be Brave 

B) Keep your valuables on-hand at all times. 

If it seems daunting to travel alone with children, remind yourself of what you accomplish everyday.  You keep children alive! You have healthy-sh meals prepared for them by dinner-time! You scour the aisles of Aldi, Trader Joe’s or Wal-Mart for the best deals! You graduated from school! You worked a job you hated to save up for what you’ve got now! You got this! 

Once you give your self the pep-talk, put your health insurance cards, your kids insurance cards, any and all medications, monies and emergency numbers in your Mommy purse.  Also, don’t forget a back-up charger, because your ordinary one will break or get lost somewhere on the trip. 

Why did I do that? 

Moms have to do things without their spouses daily. Traveling is the same thing in a smaller space. Whether its a work project, lack of vacation time or graduate school, sometimes the man ends up left behind. Or if yours is like mine, it was a mixture of all three.  For me, traveling with toddlers is like going to a playdate that is really, really far away. To the uninitiated though, a 24 hr car ride with 2 kids under 3 might seem like hell on wheels.  To them I would say: Know your reasons. 

Good reasons to travel alone with toddlers could be: 

A) A Wedding (why I found my self traveling alone recently) 

B) A Graduation (no offense to any kindergarteners, but I’m talking about the big ones, high school or college).

C) A Funeral (Make sure you give your self ample time to get there and practice self-care tips on your way). 

Beyond that, if traveling alone with children, you have the right to turn down invitations. And you know what? If even these top three family events make you want to pull your hair out, don’t do it.  It is ok for you to know your limits, and establish your boundaries.  You don’t have to attend every party you’re invited to, and you don’t need to make excuses as to why. 

How did I do that? 

Here’s the fun part! I rented a mini van, packed it up with cheesy puffs, go-gurt, invisible ink notebooks, etch-a-sketch and went on my way.   If you are traveling more than 8 yrs alone, I recommend stopping for the night. Also note that cellphone coverage can be spotty on the road, so bring a paper map.  Here’s some other tips: 

A) Plan out your destinations ahead of time.  My kids and I have been up and down I-95 so many times since their births.  It has become a family tradition to make one stop with great-grandmother, one stop at a hotel, and one stop at a BBQ shack.  We didn’t stumble along these places, we looked it up ahead of time. 

B) Don’t forget the toys! If you’re going to be on the road for any length of time, remember the toys.  This last trip we brought ink notebooks and etch-a-sketch, but we also brought my children’s favorites.

C) Tunes! Baby Shark is forbidden in our house, but the ABCs, Wheels on the Bus, and Cedarmont Kids are surefire winners.  Don’t forget good music for your self too! 

How could he let me? 

Believe it or not, older women asked me how my husband could let me go on this trip.  How crazy is that? To them I would say, my husband and I don’t own each other nor dictate what the other does.  My husband is free to hang with friends, family or co-workers as our time, income and schedule allows.  I have the same freedom.  If your husband is nervous about you traveling alone with toddlers, especially if you’re pregnant, talk to him, talk to your doctor, and I’m sure you two will work it out. And always, have a great trip!