Stay at home orders? Sure, I’m a stay at home mom, I’m made for this right? Technically, my title is “stay at home,” so I’m surely qualified and equipped. Even my neighbor said “Well, you are a stay at home mom I’m sure you’re used to this… well, that was wrong! Three months later I found myself strolling the aisles of Walgreens, yes Walgreens, alone, mask on, very slowly looking at every product, even the new summer garden line like I was back on Worth Ave window shopping. Who did I become and what was I looking for?
I was happy as a stay at home mom before the pandemic because I thrive at scheduling. I love details, over planning, making it to sports practices, school events, planning trips, packing lunches, helping with homework, mopping the floors when no one was here, and eating my lunch peacefully while my older children were in school and the baby napped. My normal was completely abnormal and everything has changed. Stay at home orders had thrown me for a loop. I woke up and my very busy calendar, (which, as O.C.D. as it was) went blank. Well, this part of “stay at home” isn’t me. I, of course, have adapted, but also realized that my running around for everyone else is what made me ok with giving up my career in the first place. Now when there’s no more running around, I realized as I slowly strolled through Walgreens, I needed to replan, regroup, and recreate my role. I’ve started walking again, and yes, I drag all three of my children with me. By the end of this pandemic, they surely will be track stars. I’ve given up on having my perfectly white floors and I have slowly found a way to fill up our calendar with new things for me to accomplish thanks to Pinterest. I found I have started to feel a little more like the stay at home mom I was before this.
I love my husband and children, and I love being a stay at home mom, but becoming a “stay at home orders mom” was different. Maybe we all envy other mothers’ schedules most days, but I can tell you my blessing to stay at home left me displaced too during these times. All moms have been affected. I am enjoying taking my long quiet strolls through the market alone for the first time, planning our weekly menu without driving that limo of a shopping cart, and barely making the turns. I hope that doesn’t change after the pandemic. I might just tell my husband children aren’t allowed for a little longer. I hope everyone stays safe and I hope everyone supports each other because even a stay at home mom wasn’t prepared to be a “stay at home orders mom.”