Most of the time, when you hear about a club, you probably think that the members asked to be included. You might envision clubs at a school, local community center, or even those that are sports related. However, there are certain clubs that no one wants to be a part of… clubs you didn’t ask to join or sign up for by choice. These clubs are usually life-changing, and not always in the most positive way. For example: Infertility, miscarriage, major medical diagnosis, loss of a family member, mental illness, or addiction, just to name a few.
You never realize how many people are already in the new club, until you are thrust into it head first. After the initial shock wears off, there is solace in these clubs, though, because the other members understand your situation. After all, they have found themselves in the same boat as you too.
These prior members seem to know what to say, have the best advice to offer, resources to assist you on your journey, and a ‘been there done that’ type of knowledge that can be priceless when you are first initiated into this club that you would have avoided at all costs if you could have. They can offer you support, suggestions, strategies, and first-hand experiences.
Depending on the club you are now a part of, your life may have to change drastically. The way you’ve lived up until this point, may become something of the past, with an entirely new set of rules and procedures that you now have to follow. Other well-meaning friends and family will try but may not always know what to say or do for you (since they, most likely, haven’t been there themselves).
The entrance into this new club of yours is generally something you never expected to happen (especially if you are dealing with issues like infertility, losing a relative unexpectedly, or a medical diagnosis). So, when you are fumbling around, seemingly lost in the new world you’ve just joined, these clubs come along as a way to cope with the unexpected life you are now living.
You Aren’t Alone
Personally, I’ve been ‘thrown’ into a few of these clubs in my own life. They weren’t what I had planned, for sure, and being a part of them wasn’t a choice. But this was the destined path I was meant to take- so realizing that I wasn’t alone in it, was extremely helpful. There is strength in numbers, after all.
Before surrounding myself with others, who also never expected to be here, I truly felt lonely. I felt like I was the only one in that exact situation at the moment, even though logically I knew that wasn’t true. Because, unfortunately, these clubs are often almost secret. Things that aren’t spoken of aloud or posted on social media. Some of them carry a stigma that leaves the club members worried to share their experiences (even though these topics SHOULD be discussed with others).
Find Your Club
If you find yourself a part of these secret, unspoken of situations, please know you are definitely NOT alone. There are so many people in the world experiencing similar things, even if they aren’t shouting them from the rooftops. It’s important not to isolate yourself. So, find those other ‘club’ members, because I promise you that there is a club waiting to welcome you- despite the fact that it may not be the ideal club to ‘join’. Those other members will understand your daily struggles and be invaluable in assisting you through what could be the worst time in your life. Their acceptance may even give you the courage to reach out to others who might be struggling. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help, or even for just a hug. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle (and who knows how many clubs they are part of), so let’s also treat each other with respect and kindness always- that’s the kind of club we can all get on board with!
