My journey as a surrogate was one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. There are a number of questions you are going to want to take into consideration before starting your surrogacy journey. One of the biggest is why and is this something you feel deeply about.
The number one question I got as a surrogate was, “So what made you want to become a surrogate?” My personal reason is I have always loved children and family. I’m a mom to two wonderful daughters, an early childhood educator, and a giver. It fills my cup to help others and to be able to help a couple become a family was an easy choice for me. I took my time reading and educating myself on the requirements and risks with becoming a surrogate. I spent time discussing everything with my spouse. With my family’s support, I was ready to start the process. You can be matched by a company, or as I did, a private journey without an agency. After the medical clearance, psychological evaluation, and contracts discussed and signed, it was time to start this journey.
The most challenging element for myself was this step! The IVF injections and medication leading up to the embryo transfer. I had no emotional reaction, some weight gain, and a lot of soreness the last month of injections. Please research this part before starting as everyone reacts differently and this step is vital. Thank goodness for my husband being the designated shot injector and my supporter. There are many injections you will be taking and oh the soreness, but I kept reminding myself temporary pain was well worth it.
Next step was the embryo transfer. This part may require travel since the fertility clinic may be out of state. My mother joined me for the trip while my husband held down the fort. The transfer was quick and painless. I was fascinated with the remarkable science and potential outcome of life from this one procedure. I was required to follow the clinic’s post op recommendations, such as bed rest and when it was safe to travel home.
The waiting for the pregnancy test in the days and weeks to come was a good nervousness for wanting to be able to deliver the news to the intended parents that they were expecting. I previously have been pregnant twice with the births of my daughters and was prepared for the changes of my body. Depending on your genetics, diet, and overall health during your pregnancy these changes can vary. I personally felt that gaining weight and physical challenges was not a reason to waiver from my decision of helping bring a life into this world. I always try to lead my daughters to be proud of who they are on the inside, not the outside, and this was a blessing to show them through action. Your relationship and interaction with the IP’s (intended parents) will be decided in the contracts leading up to the journey. I was grateful for the open communication, co doctor appointments, and to share this process with the family, with my privacy and wants being put first.
The delivery plan changed due to my water breaking early, but the goal didn’t change. I had to stay in the hospital for a week before delivery. The support and help from my IP’s and husband were incredible through a challenging time. I was grateful and blessed to deliver a very healthy baby for this family. I will never forget watching the joy and love this family felt as their child was handed to them.
Now for my second most asked question. Was it hard to give the child away? No.
Not one signal bit. I always knew I was the person to grow and keep this child safe to enter this world to their loving family. My daughters’ births are my favorite memories and I remember the feelings and life changing moments with each one. To be able to give that to someone else was incredibly fulfilling. I still stay in contact and every photo leaves me thinking what an amazing process to have been a part of. To now see a life now thriving here by one heart-lead decision I made is indescribable. Becoming a surrogate is a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly but if it’s something you’ve felt you should do, please reach out with all of your questions.